One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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