What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
