You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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