My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
