Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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