You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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