were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
