Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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