I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
