I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
