she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
