Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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