I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
