When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Everyone says I win the strip club
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
