I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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