Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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