Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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