New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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