you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
