fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
