you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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