My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
