im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
