My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Fuck appropriateness.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
