We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
