You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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