She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
