My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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