Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
