In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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