i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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