Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize