she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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