youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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