I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
