Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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