What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
