so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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