so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
