So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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