He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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