Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.

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(970): View more from Colorado

How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?

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(302): View more from Delaware

when are you leaving homes?

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51

(302): View more from Delaware

I had a sex dream about Oprah.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

go back to sleep

(302): View more from Delaware

dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.

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(425): View more from Washington

This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.

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(562): View more from California

He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.

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(646): View more from New York

How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him

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(586): View more from Michigan

he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him

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