So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
