the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
