Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize