i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
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