I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize