Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
