i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
