This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Who died my cat blue again?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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