You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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