she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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