I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
