spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
