I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
