i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
be right there i have to get my cape
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize