Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
