No awkward lesbian experiences without me
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
