I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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