You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
