I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
