I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
