Plan B is the new Plan A
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
